#258 – Parenting As Prevention: Four Ds with Dr Camilo Ortiz

VeronicaValli

As part of our Parenting As Prevention series, Dr. Camilo Ortiz joins Veronica to discuss the four Ds (discomfort, distress, disappointment, and (mild) danger) and how our kids need to manage these feelings in order to learn vital life skills as adults.

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about this episode

Director of clinical training and associate professor of psychology, Dr. Camilo Ortiz, conducts research on parenting, disruptive behavior problems in children, and child anxiety. Dr. Ortiz received a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, before joining the faculty at Long Island University-Post. Dr. Ortiz is a licensed psychologist and runs a private psychology practice in NY. He has made a number of media appearances to bring evidence-based clinical psychology to a broader audience. His latest work, Independence Therapy for Child Anxiety, was recently described in an op-ed piece he wrote for the NY Times.

In today’s conversation, Dr. Ortiz and I talk about:

Why the four Ds are important in parenting
Discomfort – experiencing discomfort and missed opportunities for building core beliefs
Distress – allowing children to feel distress without jumping in with solutions
Disappointment – the problem with always helping children to avoid disappointment
The impact of overprotective parenting
The connection between experiencing disappointment and learning to regulate emotions
Danger – the benefits of risky play
How having experiences with physical risk and danger helps children’s long-term safety and problem-solving abilities
Why we need to foster independence in children
Addressing the increasing levels of anxiety in young people
The relationship between parenting, struggle, and the development of grit in children
The importance of allowing children to practice persistence and resilience