#242 – Hyperindependence, Loneliness and Connection


In the follow-up to a popular episode on hyper-independence, Chip and Veronica discuss how hyper-independence is a perfect storm that leads us to be lonely, and loneliness leads us to drink. They give suggestions on how to break out of that cycle.

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about this episode

Hyper-independence is a double-edged sword.

On one hand, it can lead to a sense of self-sufficiency and contentment. On the other, it can create a barrier between us and the people around us, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

In today’s episode, Chip and I explore the consequences of this trait, particularly the loneliness it can breed, and share our personal experiences and perspectives on how it has impacted our lives.

We discuss:

  • How hyper-independence leads to a lonely life
  • The negative impact of hyper-independence on relationships
  • Why it’s important to allow others to help and be included
  • The link between hyper-independence and sustainable sobriety
  • The cycle of isolation
  • How hyper-independent individuals communicate their busyness and create barriers through body language and non-verbal cues
  • Breaking the cycle of hyper-independence
  • Why hyper-independence can often breed resentment within a family dynamic
  • Taking risks and allowing yourself to connect with others
  • The anxiety of swapping roles
  • Learning to let go and trust
  • Adapting behavior in relationships
  • Seeking help and overcoming loneliness
  • Why friendship and community are essential elements for achieving happiness and sobriety
  • The significance of having companions to go through life and sobriety with
  • The sadness of lost friendships
  • Love and the price of connection
  • Anxiety and need for control that come with hyper-independence
  • How to start taking small steps out of hyper-independence
  • Consistently showing up in social settings

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