Veronica introduces new Soberful Life coach Yulonda Ross. Yulonda discusses self-love and healthy relationships and how she overcame abuse and trauma to rebuild herself and learn to love herself.
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Today I’m joined by new Soberful Life coach, Yulonda Ross to talk about one of her areas of expertise, healthy relationships, and self-love.
Healthy relationships facilitate self-love. – Yulonda Ross
Yulonda Ross believes that our relationships and self-love are intertwined.
Growing up in a family of origin where we didn’t receive love and get our needs met, we form the limiting belief that we’re not good enough and we don’t deserve that.
That leads us right into unhealthy relationships because we default to the dynamics we recognize.
Like so many of us, Yulonda spent a long time searching for love in all the wrong places. With no love for herself, she ended up in unhealthy, abusive relationships and turned to binge drinking to numb and deal with the pain.
Even when I was going through all the abuse, I thought there has to be something better for my life than this. – Yulonda Ross
Eventually, she got to a place where she wanted better for herself and that meant changing her environment. By relocating and surrounding herself with positive people who were thriving in their lives she was able to recenter, refocus and change her mindset.
Isolating herself from friends and family meant there were times where she was lonely but setting those firm boundaries was an important act of self-love.
From there, she started educating herself more about self-love and relationships. Once she stopped holding herself back, the doors started opening.
When I was helping somebody else be better, it helped me as well. – Yulonda Ross
Through her work with others, Yulonda learned what a healthy relationship should look like. It starts with being able to recognize when a relationship is not serving you and know what you’re seeking for yourself.
A lot of times we’re much more judgmental of ourselves than we are of others. But with self-love, you’re gentle, kind, and compassionate with yourself.
It’s an act of self-love to stop comparing yourself to others. Stop comparing yourself to other people and recognize that you are amazing, just the way you are.
Extend compassion to yourself in the same way that you would a friend. – Veronica Valli
Healing is a hard and scary process but at some point, we all have nowhere left to run and we have to face up to who we are and what our lives have become. When you’re honest and authentic with yourself you can flourish and you can begin the healing process.
But while this can be a difficult process and it doesn’t always feel good, it feels a lot better than drinking and it does lead to the good stuff.
Healthy relationships start with self-love.
Give yourself permission to take a break and find some time for yourself, if you can. It doesn’t have to be expensive, a comfortable chair, pillows, and blanket can be enough. We all need a special place where we can find comfort and a relaxed state of mind. You deserve it.
About Yulonda Ross
Yulonda Ross is a Licensed and Certified Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselor (LADAC and ICADC) and is in the process of becoming an empowerment life coach.
With a Master’s degree in addiction studies and a Bachelor’s degree in psychology, she has been in the field of substance abuse for 14 years. Yulonda was called to the field because she lived with someone who had an addiction and has family members still struggling with alcoholism and other addictions.
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