#254 – How To Make Amends To People You Have Hurt

VeronicaValli

Chip and Veronica discuss the tricky but important process of making amends. They cover how to approach people, why it’s important to think it through, and why it matters so much to your sobriety.

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about this episode

The process of making amends is a cornerstone of recovery, and it’s one that both Chip and I believe in wholeheartedly.

It’s about more than just saying, “I’m sorry.” It’s an act of humility, a step towards mending the wounds we’ve inflicted on others and ourselves. Making amends is a practice that requires us to face the discomfort of our past actions and embrace the vulnerability that comes with seeking forgiveness.

In today’s conversation, Chip and I explore the crucial process of making amends in sobriety. We’re sharing personal experiences and what we’ve learned from decades of sobriety and working with clients through their recovery journeys.

This episode is more than just a conversation; it’s about the emotional and often challenging steps toward personal growth and healing relationships. If you’re curious about how to navigate this path with grace and courage, tune in. You might find a piece of your story reflected in ours.

We talk about:

  • The significance of making amends and addressing past behaviors in sobriety
  • How making amends impacts our relationships and well-being
  • Ancient religious and spiritual practices of repentance and how they are reflected in various traditions
  • Why we must acknowledge the harm caused to ourselves and others
  • The value of patience and timing in making amends
  • Allowing for sobriety to settle and for others to recognize genuine change
  • The need for humility and caution in approaching making amends
  • Seeking guidance from wiser and more experienced individuals
  • Addressing uncomfortable feelings about past wrongs
  • The process of making a list of individuals who may have been harmed and why we recommend checking it with experienced individuals
  • Considering potential unintended repercussions on others when making amends
  • Our experience of receiving uncomfortable responses from those we harmed
  • Chip’s experience of seeking amends with his first wife after 30 years
  • How a clean conscience helps you to avoid living with anxiety and fear
  • Facing discomfort and making apologies
  • The ongoing need to make amends and apologize for past and present harms
  • Learning from past mistakes
  • How pride and cowardice prevent us from making amends and facing past wrongs
  • The litmus test for making amends
  • Making restitution beyond verbal apologies
  • The interconnectedness of the past and the ongoing impact of past actions
  • Acknowledging and diffusing mistakes
  • The significance of making amends on both a macro and micro scale

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