Veronica is joined by Arlina Allen from the One day at a Time podcast. Arlina shares how she has been sober for 28 years, her experience of the 12-steps, and why working on self-esteem is so important.
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About Arlina Allen
Arlina Allen is a Certified Recovery Coach (IAPRC), Certified Hypnotherapist CH, the Founder of Sober Life School, and host of the award winning recovery podcast “The One Day At A Time Podcast” since June 2016.
She has been sober since 4/23/94, happily married for 25 years, Mother of two amazing young adult men and Mama to Teddy, the family English Bulldog.
Through her 28 years of lived experience in sobriety and working with other women to heal their relationship with alcohol and other addictions, she developed a special intuitiveness and insights into resolving the blocks to behavior change. With a combination of science based mental, spiritual, physical and emotional practices she has seen profound and lasting changes in her clients.
Her class “Reinvent-How To Rebuild Self-Esteem & End Self-Sabotage” is being taught to those who’ve suffered from low self-esteem, addiction, codependency, toxic relationships and many other issues.
From trauma to addiction
At the age of seven, Arlina’s parents divorced and she was sexually abused by their neighbor. She was too young to understand what was going on with her and felt everything was her fault. That experience left Arlina feeling guilty and wrong, filled with self-loathing and self-hatred from a young age.
Her first drink
Arlina started drinking around eight years old. From her first drink, she felt a temporary and instant relief, a warm feeling that left her wanting more.
“The way it burned my lips, the way it burned all the way down. But that when it hit bottom, the warmth that spread through my whole body, and I felt really good.” – Arlina Allen
Once she was in junior high, her drinking accelerated. She felt like alcohol brought out an alter ego and she couldn’t understand the storm of emotions and mixed feelings she experienced.
High school years
Arlina’s drinking habits accelerated to the point where she experienced having two alter egos once she started drinking. She could no longer control the emotions she had been suppressing since childhood.
I was either fighting or crying when I was drinking. It was like everything I had suppressed came out in a volcano style. Sometimes I would wake up the morning after and just be like, “What was that all about?” – Arlina Allen
The blue jeans addiction
“If it was in a bottle, a bag or blue jeans, I was doing it!” – Arlina Allen
Arlina developed a serious love addiction to married men. In her mind, she saw them as knights in shining armor whose love would save her from the chaos she was battling.
It wasn’t until she went into recovery that she realized she was choosing men that were unavailable because that allowed her to avoid real intimacy. They were a distraction from the endless weight of the feelings she was carrying.
Looking back, she realized that her relationship behaviors were rooted in her early childhood experiences.
As children, our brains are developing so rapidly and we interpret our experiences through a childlike lens, making connections about the world and developing beliefs about who we are and what we deserve. As adults, we carry these beliefs with us until we do the deeper work needed to see things for what they really are, through a different lens.
Reaching a point of deep despair, Arlina reached out to her sober friends. Luckily, they were extremely supportive and introduced her to a 12-step program. Joining that community was transformative.
Arlina felt like she finally found her people – a place where she felt safe and where everyone could relate to each other’s struggles and the experience of addiction and journey to sobriety.
One day at a time
Arlina started her podcast, One Day At A Time, to help people like her, struggling with addiction, to work on their self-esteem and overcome their battles.
“When your self-esteem is high, you attract from a higher level because you’re no longer willing to tolerate things like being gaslit, or being invalidated.” – Arlina Allen
Connect with Arlina Allen
- Sober Life School
- Reinvent – Self Esteem Course
- One Day At A Time Podcast
- The One Day At A Time Podcast Facebook Page
- Arlina Allen on Instagram @arlinaallen
- One Day At A Time Podcast on Instagram @odaatpodcast
- Overcoming Our Childhood Issues Program & Retreat – Join Chip and Veronica in person in England for this two-and-a-half-day retreat
- Are You Sober Curious? | Crowdfunding campaign
- Order my book | Soberful: Uncover a Sustainable, Fulfilling Life Free of Alcohol
- Join our Soberful FREE private Facebook group for community and support.
- Have you signed up for our sober tips yet? Join our free newsletter to get sober nuggets straight from us to your inbox every week.
- Submit Your Questions to Us
- We love hearing from you! Share your comments and feedback with us on our Instagram page @VeronicaJValli
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