#109 – Episode 109 – The Elephant In The Room


We all have ‘elephants in the room.’ A difficult and uncomfortable conversation that we avoid at all costs. In this episode Chip and Veronica explore the different ‘elephant’s and how we can deal with them.

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Everybody has an elephant in the room.

Sex, money, unresolved anger, or grievances because of addiction. We go about our lives pretending they don’t exist because it feels easier than dealing with the topic.

Like why do we believe something is wrong with the relationship if sex drops off the radar?

It’s really frightening and uncomfortable, and everybody knows it’s there. You can’t not see it because it’s a frickin’ elephant.” – Veronica Valli

Then we compound the taboo by not discussing it because we feel we may be placing unnecessary judgment on ourselves or our partner. We’re going nowhere fast that way.

When in reality, sex drops off in every relationship. It’s natural, it’s a part of life and we should be able to talk about it the same we do about what breakfast we’re having in the morning.

Chip compares his elephants with his family like a safari park.

His brother was shipped off to a mental institution when Chip was 6 years old, and his family never spoke about him again after that. It was as if he no longer existed – his mother fully resorted to saying she only had two children.

“If we acknowledge the elephant, it opens up difficult conversations.” – Veronica Valli

One of the ways we spoke about on this episode of getting around, or through, the difficult conversation is, why not send your loved one an email?

You can get your thoughts out, it relieves massive pressure and heaviness from the topic and then if you want, you can approach the conversation with much more ease.

We talk more about some other elephants in the room and ways to deal with them in this episode.

I hope you take the tips, no longer walk on eggshells, and finally lay down the unconscious mental burden we carry around on a daily basis and embrace transparency and ease.

Breakthrough Sobriety: a 4-month coaching program led by Veronica Valli and Chip Somers. Break through the negative patterns in your relationships and mindset that keep you stuck in your sobriety.


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