#264 – When Other People Sabotage Our Sobriety


Chip and Veronica explore how other people can try to sabotage our sobriety. Whether it is from family, friends, or colleagues, we may have people in our lives who don’t like the fact that we want to be sober. This is an experience most people have in early sobriety. One of the most hurtful ways is when people tell us we aren’t ‘fun’ anymore.

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about this episode

Most of us will experience other people trying to sabotage our sobriety in early recovery.

It’s not just the loud judgements or bullying that can get us. Often, sabotage can be quite subtle – maybe even unconscious – planting seeds of discomfort and uncertainty about our decision to get sober.

The lack of support from our loved ones and their unwillingness to help us move forward with something so life-changing for us can be incredibly damaging.

In this episode, Chip and I discuss:

  • How commonly sabotage shoes up in different relationships in early sobriety
  • Examples of how people close to us can overtly or subtly undermine our decision to get sober
  • The deep impact sobriety has on our relationships
  • Social pressure and the ridicule we might face as sober people in social settings
  • Why it’s crucial to have a sober support circle and set and hold clear boundaries
  • Challenges to surviving the early stages of sobriety
  • How our partners influence our sobriety
  • Managing situations where people feel ambushed by our decision to get sober
  • The use of gaslighting by a drinking partner
  • Recognizing that we may outgrow drinking companions
  • Subtle forms of sabotage from partners
  • Difficulties in finding our assertiveness in early recovery
  • Judgment and bullying from peer groups
  • Why boundaries, community, and mentorship are central in navigating relationships in sobriety
  • Long-term benefits of sobriety on relationships despite initial challenges

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