#116 – Episode 116 – Parenting as Prevention with Dr Laura Markham

VeronicaValli

In this episode, Veronica interviews parenting expert Dr Laura Markham. Dr Laura explains what peaceful parenting is and why connection is the most essential part of parenting. We also discuss how kids trigger your unresolved childhood issues and how, as a parent developing your own emotional regulation will role model to your kids how they can manage their feelings.

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I am so excited to share this interview with you because I have a very special guest today who I have followed and admired for several years. With this episode, we’re starting to look at the roots of where addiction can grow and I strongly believe that how we parent can be an effective preventative measure.

Dr. Laura Markham is a parenting coach who has worked with countless families across the world. She supports parents to have the relationship they want with their children, where the child receives support to be their best self and to grow into a wonderful, older child and eventually adults who can bring their unique gifts to the world.

When I was pregnant with my first son around 10 years ago I remember feeling quite smug about what a great mother I’d be. I was absolutely certain I wasn’t going to get anything wrong because I was 38, so I was old and wise. Then I had my little angel baby and all was well but around when he turned two, everything flipped on its head.

That’s when I discovered just how much children can trigger you.

Thank goodness I found Dr. Laura. I’ve done her course multiple times since and her methods really resonate with me and have totally changed my perspective on parenting and transformed my relationship with my children. I use all of those methods to this day, and I recommend her everywhere.

Parenting is 80% connection and 20% guidance. – Dr. Laura Markham

Dr. Laura Markham teaches peaceful parenting, which is built on the three principles of connection, coaching and self-regulation. To have an influence, you first have to connect and you can’t guide a child until they feel that connection with you. Through prioritizing connection and then coaching them to be their best selves by helping them learn how to manage their emotions in a healthy way, our children can thrive.

But all of this only works when we ourselves are able to show up and be fully present and self-regulated. And achieving that requires us to care for ourselves and learn to handle our own emotions.

One of the most difficult things that parents who are sober or who are struggling to stop drinking have to deal with is the guilt and shame over not always being the type of parent we want to be. What we do have as parents with these unique struggles is the opportunity to be role models for our children and show them how to deal with the difficult feelings and emotions around making mistakes and humility.

That’s a very powerful thing for children to witness.

You can repair relationships, get support and get help. It’s hard to be a parent and it’s even harder to be a parent struggling with an addiction. Those are not two things you should try to do on your own.

What I love about Dr. Laura’s approach is that it’s rooted in self-forgiveness and the understanding that whatever is in the past, you can make a different decision going forward.

If we can adapt and change how we parent, we not only can heal ourselves but also build resilience in our kids as they grow and hopefully prevent them from going down the road of a serious addiction.

 

About Dr Laura Markham

Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting, Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life, and now her latest book, The Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook: Using mindfulness and connection to raise resilient, joyful children and rediscover your love of parenting.

Dr. Laura Markham earned her PhD in clinical psychology at Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless families across the world. Over 150,000 moms and dads enjoy Dr. Laura’s free weekly coaching posts via email. You can sign up on any page of her website, AhaParenting.com, which serves up Aha! Moments for parents of babies through teens. Dr. Laura’s aspiration is to change the world, one child at a time, by supporting parents. The proud mother of two thriving young adults who were raised with her peaceful parenting approach, she lives with her husband in New York.

Connect with Dr Laura Markham

 

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