Emotions are just data. In this mind-blowing interview EQ expert, Julia Ford-Carther explains how emotions are communicating with us so we can grow and change into the people we are meant to be.
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Julia Ford-Carther is an EQ-obsessed coach and human potential enthusiast who helps people get in alignment and uplevel to get what they want, faster. I am always incredibly impressed by her and her passion for all things emotional intelligence (EQ) so I knew we had to have her on the podcast.
If you’ve been a part of the Soberful family, you’ll know that Chip and I talk a lot about why dealing with your emotions is a core part of recovery and the sobriety journey. I am fascinated by Julia’s approach to this (which is different to ours) and about a year ago we had her do a workshop for Soberful Life, which is still getting so much positive feedback from our members.
“Emotional intelligence at the core is understanding emotions.” – Julia Ford-Carther
Julia wants everyone to recognize their emotions for what they are – data.
Emotions are the information your brain is trying to tell you about how you feel about what’s going on at that moment. You are not your emotions or your thoughts.
Knowing that is one thing but in practice, when we’re triggered, it’s challenging to separate yourself from your emotion. That’s why emotional intelligence takes study and can be so beneficial. When you do the work to develop your EQ, you’ll find yourself in a much better place to take control of the experiences and interactions you have every day, rather than reacting from your conditioning.
“Emotions come into play in every interaction.” – Julia Ford-Carther
Whether you’re working with your boss or interacting with your romantic partner, friend, or family member, you’re bringing emotions to the table and you’re creating new emotions within these interactions. Unfortunately, most of us aren’t taught how to process our emotions in a healthy way or how to bring the best emotions forward to create a win-win situation for everybody involved.
We need to learn what to do with this data because unless we process it in a healthy way, we suppress or repress it and that’s when it turns into disease or unhealthy coping mechanisms like addictions.
“You can’t really be a successful human being in any capacity without having some degree of emotional intelligence.” – Veronica Valli
When we are given tools, language, and safe spaces to own our emotions, feel them, and process them, so we can release or integrate them where necessary, and then move on, they lose their power. Of course, there are going to painful or uncomfortable situations in the future but once you’ve gained the skill set to process your emotions, you’ll know what to do with it.
For me, recognizing that emotions are just data has been such a liberation. It’s such a release to know that you’re not bound to your emotions, but rather, they’re trying to tell you something so that you can create better experiences and feel better in the future.
We think it’s easier to numb and push our emotions away when actually it’s easier and quicker to actually start looking at the data and following the information. There is a way for you to find safety and to feel safe enough to do this work and the only way out is through.
For those of us that don’t yet have this skill set, it starts with giving yourself permission to first acknowledge your feelings, because they are valid and you are worthy, and then externalize the data, separate yourself from it, and start investigating.
About Julia Ford-Carther
Julia Ford-Carther is an EQ-obsessed coach and human potential enthusiast who helps people get in alignment and uplevel to get what they want, faster. She keeps it simple, straightforward, and fun because transformation is challenging enough as it is, right? Julia’s teachings focus on how we can amplify our unique desires, passions, and visions while removing the internal and external obstacles that stand in our way. Her ultimate goal? To help you bring your ideal, future self into your present reality as quickly as possible so you can be fulfilled in living authentically right now.
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